This and That...

To sum it up, here's how I feel right now. It's a little bit scatter brained, but so am I at the moment!

Well, Eric and I have put potty training on hold. We tried (for all of 4 1/2 hours) to do the 3 day potty train and couldn't do it. I pretty much freaked out. I already feel completely overwhelmed when I take both of them out in public. There has already been an incident of Mac taking off and me chasing him with Ellie in the stroller, and if I am constantly having to scout out all the bathrooms anytime we go out in public we just aren't leaving the house. It's just too much for me right now. It upsets me a little because I do think he's ready/able to be potty trained. I guess if he's ready now, he'll still be ready in a month, right? Sometimes I just think there are too many things going on. I feel like we just brought home a baby, are in the process of getting him to have a real bedtime (up until now we've just let him fall asleep whenever), are trying to make him fall asleep in his bed and not ours, and starting back to school this week. I think that adding potty training on to all of that is just a lot for him, and us, to take. What really bothers me is that a lot of his friends are in the process of potty training and we aren't. I feel like I'm holding him back or something. Ugh...Mommy guilt never stops does it?

This week, Eric is traveling. Let me just say, I am very thankful that his job very rarely requires him to go see clients. He left Monday for NY, but came back on Tuesday. Then he left again today and will come home on Friday. So really, it's only 3 nights that he'll be gone, but it's my first time to be all alone with the kids. I feel like it shouldn't be this stressful. I'm with them all day long so why is it such a big deal if he's gone 3 nights? I will give Eric a little shout out here...this has made me realize just how much he helps out at night.

This has been a whole new situation for me. I had already quit pumping for Mac at this point so actually breastfeeding Ellie is very different. And of course that whole sleeping through the night thing was apparently just a phase. She only wakes up once at night, but it makes a big difference on my energy level during the day. I don't really like getting out of the house with them because I don't particularly enjoy feeding her in public. I've done it a couple of times, but I feel rushed and just want her to eat as fast as possible. Plus, depending on where we are, I can't always just stop and feed her if I have Mac. I keep thinking, what do I do if I'm feeding her and Mac decides to take off?

And tomorrow is a not so fun day for sweet Ellie. It's time for her 2 month shots. I hate these. I still remember the look on Mac's face when they gave him his shots. It was a mix of terror and shock followed by a flood of tears (from both of us). Hopefully she won't be to cranky tomorrow night.